I confess it’s been a while since I visited the dentist. It’s not that I’m physically afraid of them, it’s more an aversion to the battering my bank balance will get after the visit, in particular when a filling is needed. I appreciate there are costs involved, but I always come out feeling slightly peeved at the amount I’ve paid for a 0.5mm hole to be filled.
Not a lot has changed in the waiting room; there’s still the six-month old selection of women/lifestyle magazines although I was slightly perturbed to notice a bible was now on the coffee table. In this world of political correctness and religious equality it momentarily crossed my mind there should be other religions’ holy books available, but just as I was pondering this issue, my name was called and I dutifully went into the dentist’s room.
The dentist smiled and suggested I put my coat and back near the flickering oil burner in the corner; if the bible’s support failed to allay your fears, would the relaxing odour emitting from the oil burner succeed?
Next I was handed a pair of dark plastic glasses. Apparently these glasses are not to hide the evil glint in the dentist’s eye as they lean towards your gaping mouth with drill in hand, but they will protect my eyes from the overhead light and pieces of flying tooth or tartar. I’m amazed I came out with my sight from the last few visits.
The dentist’s drill is possibly the most distinctive sound on earth and a few years ago I distinctly recall counting the holes in the ceiling in an attempt to take my mind of the high-pitched whir and to stop imagining the drill slipping. Posters later appeared on the ceiling and I was whisked off to a number of scenic mountain landscapes while having my teeth filled.
Dentists have now gone high tech and the poster has been replaced by a the flat screen TV playing a David Attenborough documentary. Gosh, I can learn something whilst having my teeth filled. Not only that, sub-titles were thoughtfully included so I could read what was happening should the drilling drown out the commentary.
I was feeling OK until the documentary moved onto African carnivores. There was no escape from the gory tearing of flesh as cheetahs caught antelopes and crocodiles homed in on unsuspecting wildebeest. I had been instructed to raise my left hand if I was feeling uncomfortable at any time throughout the procedure and wondered if a request to change the documentary would warrant a hand-raise?
The finale to this particular visit was the ‘before and after’ picture of the filled tooth. Personally I would have preferred not to have seen my old metal filled tooth but I found myself expressing how much better the new white filling looked compared to the amalgam filling. After all, we all like people to acknowledge our good work and a dentist is probably no different and unless you’re a contortionist with two mirrors, a dentist’s work at the back of your mouth often goes unnoticed.
My mouth was still numb but it still hurt when the three figure bill put before me, even after my health insurance subsidy. Just a thought, if I blow out the oil burner candle, turn off the TV and pass on the before and after picture, will I get a reduction on the price next time?
wadders007 